here it is...

I have never had such a busy, hardcore term then the one that I finished last week. I worked hard, striving for a great grade point average. - "great" for me is 3.5, I have never done well in school - I was diligent for the first three weeks, always doing homework and staying a little ahead of my classes. and then, Pirates of Penzance hit, and it hit hard, and didn't stop hitting me for 7 strait weeks. Seven strait weeks of spending for then 20 hours a week in rehearsals and performances. I tried, I really did, to keep up. But everyone else seemed to be doing better then me at juggling everything. It wasn't until last week that I realized why I couldn't do everything. 

Her. She was my problem.

We would get up and rush out the door. She would go to work. I would go to school. I would finish classes and 4 and rush to get some homework done and find dinner. She would get off work at 6 and I would be going to night rehearsals. afterwards I needed to be doing homework, but instead I would be rushing home to spend 20 minutes with her before she went to bed. 

Yes. I can't juggle school, a performance, and a wife. and looking back on it, I am ok with that. 

I love my wife, and I made it through this term because of her. The little time we spent together at night is what gave me the strength to get up in the morning. 

Thank you, my love. I would give up my world to spend an extra 20 minutes a day with you. 

I love you.

A Long time.

I am so sorry for not doing this earlier. I have had a long term at school and there are many things I was to talk about! Today, my first day of freedom from finals, I am doing mind numbing things. i.e. Halo o.d.s.t. I promise to write lots during this break, but for now I do not want to think! 

Peace.

Let me tell you why...

My amazing wife...

...that is simple, because she is. Last night I had an excruciating 51/2 hour rehearsal. I call her and complain that I am tired, hungry, grumpy, tired and hungry. In 30 minutes she was at my dressing room with 4 homemade burritos and coke. She had not only brought me food but she brought enough to share with a few others. What is even more amazing is that she brought her own special stash of coke. She loves coke, and last night she chose to share it with the entire cast. 

I told you she was awesome.

I'm tired...

...well, last week Vanessa had Swine flu and that came with a violent cough. She would wake up in the middle of the night coughing and I would wake up with her. Saturday night at a quarter til 7 we decided to take a trip to her parents because it was my sister's-in-law birthday. that night we shared a twin bed, needless to say we didn't sleep very well. Sunday night we got to bed late and then I had to get up at 5:30am for my weekly meeting, and then, to top it all off, I had a 51/2 hour long rehearsal last night. 

I'm stressed...

... I'm tired, broke, and can not find my music. (which is in a small athletic style, drawstring backpack, in case you see it) I am going to the last place I can think of that might have my music as soon as I am done with this blog. 

I'm hopeful...

... God is good. He has gotten me through worst places before! 

My mother just called, she just told a story of her own lost music. Well it wasn't music, glasses. She said she couldn't find them for 3 weeks. When had been getting headaches everyday and finally couldn't take it anymore. She said she called out to God and asked him to find them. immediately a glimmer of light caught her eye and she saw them. They on top of our play house in the backyard where she took them off once while she was playing with us. God show me where my music is!

Have a good day, and if you want come to the "Pirate's of Penzance" this weekend or next here at OSU. 

Alex walked in the door and I forgot what I was going to write about.

It is interesting how the loss of something or someone brings the reality of their/its importance to your life. Some boyfriends don't understand the true treasure they have until it walks away. You won't realize the importance of cell phones in this culture until you try to spend a day with out one. I never appreciated my '99 Subaru Impreza until I grew from 6'2" to 6'4" and could no longer really fit in it, (Now I drive a focus).

I have had two of these realizations recently. 

1. A very important one, health insurance. You don't really realize the importance of it until your wife gets Swine Flu and you have to take her to the emergency room. At that point you truly understand the importance of insurance.

2. The importance of my music. I have completely lost it. the bag that it was in  carried all my choir music, an oratorio anthology, and my Elijah score. =$150. And I have this weird feeling, like a void is in my life. That bag carried a lot of who I am in it, and I am also scared I will have to replace all of it. 

I hope you realize the super awesomeness of the things you have the people around you! 

So as you may know, I am studying at Oregon state University pursuing a degree in choral music education. You want to know what job that degree will get me in next year. none. In fact the only thing I can do with this degree is to go back to school. yeah... OSU sure knew what they were doing on this one, "Here come to our school and get a degree! That will allow you to come back again and get another degree and we will charge you a lot more money!" amazing. I fell for it. 

I am looking forward to next year IF I get into grad school. Yep, me being the fantastic student I am might not have the grades to make it next year. SWEET. so what am I going to do with this degree I will get??? not to mention the booming workforce needed for this super amazing economy. 

all I have to say is, thank you welfare! you pay for my degree since I won't have a job next year. 

I really want to teach music. it is such a vital part of live! whole cultures have changed due to it. I'll talk more about music later. 

Have a great day!

What it is to Live - a cold monday morning

I was at a Thomas Hampson performance a couple of weeks ago - he is a marvelous performer! During his recital he talked about poets. I have never really liked poetry, and I think it is because I haven't ever understood it. But Thomas had a really great perspective on poets that he shared with the audience that night. He said that poets tell you in words what it is to live. 

I loved that! it pretty much blew my mind. 

I have thought a lot about that night ever since. What is it like to live right now? What can I tell people 100 years from now about life today. First off I acknowledge that I will never be a poet, and I don't want to, I just like thinking about it. 

I could tell people that in 2009 people rarely talk to each other. connections are maid through digital conversations. There is a void in most people because of this. I would share that these are the times when americans started second guessing about the greatness of the USA. and maybe started second guessing about what it meant to be great in this world. It is a time when fans didn't cheer for their team but now cheer for individuals on different teams. - Someday I will write about my thoughts on fantasy leagues and how they are destroying the greatness of pro sports. Or what about how divorce is not only the norm but the expected out come of marriage- an effect of selfishness and self-gratification which is the absolute most important ideology of this day.

This is a tough question for me, what it is to live now. How would I express that fear I have because I have invested all this money into education and now I might not have a job when I get done? How would I express that I get weird looks when I say that I am married, as if I have made a huge mistake? 

Poets, I charge you: Share what it is to live here and now so the generations to come will be able to learn from us. They need to be able to better themselves by looking at our mistakes and our qualities! 

May God bless you on this cold Monday morning!

In case you haven't noticed

Corvallis- in case you haven't noticed, fall is here. (Cold, wet, and dark)

I really enjoy the fall. I like the rain, the leaves, and I really like football! I only have one complaint about fall...

I HATE GETTING UP IN THE DARK!!! First off, your alarm goes off and the first thing I think is, "it is still night, why is my alarm going off?" snooze. alarm goes off again, "Fine, I'll get up." and once  finally do get up, the world should reward me for my efforts, but instead mister sunshine gets to sleep in. So I stumble all around my room, stub my toe on the dresser then step on an upside down high heel, and while all this is going on there is a vigorous "THUD, THUD, THUD, THUD, THUD" in the door way as my over eager, ADD black lab and his 3 foot tail await for me to go play with him outside. I never play with him in the morning, and the dog knows that, it's like he thrives on rejection. Which kind of reminds of a good friend of mine, J. 

When J wasn't trying celibacy, that is how he was with girls. Always waiting at the door, wagging his tail, and waiting to be rejected. Now he is taking a higher path.

Once I do get up, I love the mornings. 

There is now light outside and the world is slowly awaking, so I say to you, guten morgen!