Friday, January 21, 2011

Rain, Rain...

Go away.
Come again another day.


Actually don't. Go find a quiet place far, far away. And never return.

I am now proclaiming that the first moment I can move out of this depressing, horrid, mud-hole called the Willamette Valley I will do just that. I enjoy the rain until two weeks ago. Since then our relationship has progressively degraded. Now I hate it. Hate. Loathe. rain.

Sun, please come out to play.

Saturday, January 8, 2011

Two new villains.

So today I am sitting on the couch having just cleaned the kitchen. I am looking out the window and noticing that it is not raining and there are some little specks of blue stuff in the sky. Why am I not wanting to be outside? well, number one is Apathy. Apathy is a unique and special villain it doesn't have a gender. Doesn't where a mask and costume and doesn't have a secret office where it thinks up its evil ideas of how it can take over the world. Apathy is like a mist. It's not a spirit or anything, it is tangible. But barely. Most people don't see it when it sneaks up on them. You have to have a trained eye. It's weapons are as unique and dangerous as anything you could imagine. Although it has an arsenal to choose from, it has two that are his always in his belt. "What are they," you are asking yourself, well they are Internet, and Television. Huge weapons that are incapable of being broke or dismantled. They are always positioned to fire, just waiting for you to walk into the trap. Once you have sprung the trap by sitting in your armchair and either grabbing the remote or opening your laptop the weapons fire. And you are caught around the neck and then the poison starts taking effect. You can't feel it but before you recognize what is going on you look at the clock and realize that you have just been kidnapped for two hours. Two hours you will never get back. 

*Side Note* the villain rain has just struck and I am putting up the white flag today. She wins.

The other new villain that has made his/her/its name very well known to the world in recent months is Poverty. Poverty is a shape shifter. No one knows if it has a gender or, for that matter, if it is even from this world. Along with shape-shifting, Poverty has one more horrid and powerful super-power; mind-reading. Yep. Poverty reads your mind and turns into the the cutest thing, or it can even be an intangible thing, that your heart will love and then slowly sucks your bank account dry. He has used the forms of puppies on me and my wife for years now. And the irony is, I know who the dogs really are but I can't stop loving them so I allow the draining of my bank account to happen. Poverty is a sly one. 

So today a horrible thing has happened. It is unprecedented and may very well mean that it could happen again in the future. Rain, Apathy, and Poverty have all teamed up and struck the fly fisher super hero all at once. He was caught off his guard and had to retreat. But he will return to fight another day.